Éveiller Drive, Book 3
Published 2016 by Book Boutiques.
Copyright © 2016, Melanie James.
All rights reserved.
Laura walked into the room and he was on her in a flash. She didn’t even have time to set her bag down before Alan grabbed her, tearing her clothes away. She instantly came alive from the erotic energy emitted by his ravenous hands roaming her body. His lips were warm and soft as they crashed down upon hers. His kiss, however, was anything but soft and sensual. It was hard, commanding. Her body quickly responded to the demand of his hunger. Desire rapidly grew and flooded her body with heat. When his mouth claimed her breasts, she was lost to the fire coursing through her veins.
The next thing Laura knew, she was on her hands and knees on an unfamiliar bed with Alan slamming into her from behind. She cried out with each forceful thrust as her body hurdled towards an orgasm. Just a little closer and she would be there. Right where she wanted to be—in complete bliss.
Laura rolled over and smacked the alarm. She hit the snooze button and squeezed her eyes shut, hoping like hell the dream would pick up where it left off. A loud sigh escaped her mouth and she realized she would have no such luck recapturing the dream. Frustration filled her body. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. That seemed to be the norm these days. Alan was never home to see to her needs and even when he was home, he seemed distant. It seemed like he never got fully into their lovemaking. His lack of emotion left her with an empty space in her heart. The kind of emptiness that can only come from having once been loved, and then seeing it cruelly turned away. It was worse than outright rejection. With rejection, she thought, you could at least just be pissed off. Seeing Alan build a wall between them made her feel sad—hopelessly sad.
She couldn’t remember the last time they had full on, hardcore sex. Laura was tired of the solitary act of masturbation that left her more frustrated than satisfied. What she needed was full on raw sex with Alan. The kind of sex that was intensely physical and fueled by pure passion. The uninhibited sex that says, “I want you, I need you, I am going to take you.” Images filled her mind of their bodies slamming together. Much like her dream, Alan took her with a hunger only he could. In her thoughts and dreams their bodies collapsed against one another, covered in sweat when they were both spent. Sadly, that hadn’t happened in ages.
It was almost as if Alan were just going through the motions. Having sex just for the satisfaction of getting off and nothing more. The connection they once had was gone. And she silently pleaded for its return. When they were done, he cleaned up and got dressed for bed. That was not the norm. They used to linger in bed. It was their time to slow the frantic pace of their lives. Post-coital bliss used to consist of Alan running his fingers gently over her body, followed up by soft kisses that heated both of their bodies again. Unfortunately, Laura couldn’t remember the last time that happened or even why it had stopped happening.
The last few times they did have sex, Alan was rougher than normal. Not that she didn’t enjoy it because she did. She fucking loved it. Laura just couldn’t figure out what caused the drastic change in her husband. Did she overlook something he said or did? Had she offended him in some way that she was unaware of? The last few times he was the only one to reach a climax. Needless to say, she was more frustrated than ever.
With no idea what to do, she pushed back the covers and climbed out of bed. The kids didn’t have to be up for school for a little while, so the quiet time would give her a chance to wake up and think about her current predicament a little more.
Her first cup of coffee in hand, she padded over to her laptop and opened the lid. The bright glow from the screen illuminated the room. Laura squinted as her eyes adjusted to the sudden change in light. With a click of her mouse, she opened her email to see if there was anything urgent that needed a response.
Laura smiled when she saw that Alan had already sent her an email. When he was away on business he kept odd hours. The longer he was gone on a trip, the more anxious he became. Unfortunately, he had been gone for three long weeks.
Alan was the owner of Richardson Development. It was a company they had built together right after college. Laura still headed all of the corporate advertising. Since the kids were born, she worked more and more from home. It allowed her to be available for school functions and activities. But it was more than that. The office could be very stressful at times and she didn’t do well with stress. She preferred the solitude of her home office and would opt for working in peace and quiet any day of the week.
Her coffee was still a bit too warm to drink, but she sipped it slowly while she read over Alan’s email. He would be home early Friday afternoon. His flight would get in around noon. He planned on coming straight home, waiting until Monday to head back to the office. She breathed a sigh of relief that he was finally headed home.
Her fingers flew across the keyboard in response, letting him know she was excited he would be home soon and how much she missed him. She clicked send and went on to read the news. A few minutes later her instant messenger chimed announcing a message. Alan was still on line.
“Good Morning to you.” Laura replied.
“How did you sleep?”
“Not very well. I miss you.” Laura’s answer was automatic.
“I miss you too, babe.”
“Alan, can I ask you something?” Laura took a deep breath, trying like hell to gather the nerves she needed to type the next sentence.
“Anything. What’s on your mind?”
Laura stared at the screen. It was now or never. Could she really discuss this issue with her husband over the Internet? She took a big gulp of her coffee and sucked in a deep breath as she typed the message. After reading it for the fourth time, she finally hit send.
“Do you still love me?” She was afraid to see the answer. Though his reply came within seconds, it felt like hours.
“Of course I do. What would ever make you think that I didn’t?”
“Well for one, you haven’t been yourself in the bedroom lately. I can’t remember the last time we had sex that you seemed like you were actually into it. Or…when you cared about my needs.” Laura wished like hell there was an un-send button on the instant message program. She really didn’t want to fight with Alan, nor did she know if she wanted to hear the truth.
A non-answer. Great! “I’m not kidding, Alan. I don’t know what to do or say anymore. I’m sick over all of it and wondering if you are going to meet someone else that will satisfy you on one of your trips, or what? Or maybe, that you have met someone else. I’ve been a nervous wreck for months. Something is going on with you. I just don’t know why you won’t talk about it.”
“Do you really want to discuss this now, Laura? Like this? On the computer?” Alan’s latest reply popped up in Laura’s chat window.
“Yeah, I do. I can’t take it anymore, Alan. I feel like I’m going insane here, sitting around waiting for the other shoe to drop. After fourteen years, you either love me or you don’t. You either want to be with me or you don’t. There really is no in between and if there is, to me…that means your answer is the latter.” Silent tears streamed down her cheeks and on to the desk. She grabbed a tissue and waited for his reply.
How could Alan explain to his wife what he wanted? What needed to happen in the bedroom without hurting her feelings? He needed a break from the damn vanilla sex that they had been saddled with for the past ten of the fourteen years of their marriage. Laura used to be fun and outgoing. She used to dress up for sex or at least wear sexy lingerie. Now, he was lucky if she took her granny panties off before she crawled into bed.
She used to be vocal about what she wanted, a willing participant actively seeking out new ways to pleasure one another. Now, she was quieter than a mouse. He couldn’t even get a squeak out of her during sex. Hell, how could he get into it when he had no response from her…even when he was pounding the ever living fuck out of her? If he attempted to discuss the subject, she used the kids as an excuse. She didn’t want them to know what was going on or she didn’t want them to hear.
That was fine and dandy and he could respect that, but there was no reason why they couldn’t have fuck-me-till-I-scream sex when both of the kids were gone for the night. He typed his response and waited for Laura’s.
“Of course, I still love you and want to be with you, Laura. You have always been my love. You know that! What is different now than it was before? We are different. Sex used to be so different for us. You used to tell me what you wanted, what you liked, or if something felt good. Now, you never make a sound. It’s always the same thing. Me on top or you on top. There is no variety. No spice. No dirty-talk. No visual enhancements. All of it just disappeared. Everything, even sex is scheduled—tightly controlled these days. I can’t stand the time tables anymore. Whatever happened to spontaneity? I want more. I need more.”
Alan waited for what felt like days, far longer than the seven minutes it took Laura to respond. He knew that she saw the message, but he didn’t know if she would actually reply or not. When his messenger finally came alive with her reply, he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
“So this—situation is all my fault? I’m not turning you on enough? I’m not dressing up anymore? I’m not good enough the way I am to have sex with?”
“Fuck!” Alan yelled, his curse echoed through the quiet hotel room. It was too early in the morning for the intensity of the conversation that he and Laura had going. He had to fix this now, because if he didn’t, he might find himself sleeping in a hotel room for a hell of a lot longer than he wanted to. They needed to work this shit out now. She wanted this conversation, he would give it to her.
His fingers slammed the keyboard, angry at both himself and Laura. In his eyes they were both equally responsible for the calamity they called a sex life. “No. Damn it. It is very much both of our faults. I think we took each other for granted. We stopped trying to impress one another, because we became too comfortable with each other. You know what I would love? I would fucking love to walk through the door on Friday and see you waiting for me dressed up and ready to be fucked. I would love to bend you over the fucking kitchen table and slam so deep into you that you scream my name. I’m not going to lie. It would be fun as hell to see you tied to the bed and blindfolded. I would love to have my way with you. Whatever I wanted, however I wanted. Can you give up that control, Laura? Will you let me in, again?”
Alan didn’t know what else he could say or do at this point. The ball was in Laura’s court. Would she drop her shields for once? He honestly feared her response. A few minutes later a new message popped up in his chat window.
“We’ll talk about it more when you get home. I have to make sure the kids are up and getting ready for school. xoxo.”
“What the hell?” Alan slammed the lid of his laptop closed in frustration. He stalked to the shower ready to put his fist through the wall. She was the one who brought it up, but rather than answer the question, she ran.
Damn right he was pissed. He had every reason to be. Alan wanted nothing more than to have things return to the way they used to be. He and Laura kept growing further and further apart. It wasn’t a joke when he asked if she could give up some of her control. Laura had always been carefree and often threw caution to the wind. Her need for control seemed to come out of the blue after Destiny and Alex were born. She had suddenly become so serious about everything—their sex life included. Everything was meticulously planned to the minute. God forbid they should deviate from the schedule. Who the fuck schedules eight and a half minutes on a certain day of the month to give their husband a blow job? Or twelve minutes for sex?
Alan shook his head as the hot water flowed over him. The years passed by in his mind. At first he thought the planning was cute…that she actually scheduled his needs into her calendar. Needless to say, the cuteness quickly wore off and if it wasn’t scheduled, he wasn’t getting it. Which sucked. His eyes rolled at the bad pun. Alan wished to God he were getting sucked. His member grew hard at the mere thought. Another day, another grand masturbation session.